Co Parenting

Divorce or parental separation is a reality for many families with children. The impact of these events can have short and long term effects not only on parents but on their children. While a romantic relationship between a child’s parents can end, how parents manage their new arrangement and how they treat each other can lessen the stress of transition for their children. Read on for some tips to support children through a potentially stressful change.

Coping with Separation/Divorce

According to clinical psychologist JoAnne Pedro-Carroll in her article in the Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development, certain factors have an effect on children’s well-being during and after divorce. These recommendations can support children as they adjust to a new normal. Parents can control these and lessen stress on children:

• Reduce hostile conflict between parents – As much as possible, remain amicable with the partner especially in front of the child or children. Try not to speak ill of the partner when with the child.
• Increase quality time and interaction with children – With this transition, don’t be afraid to create new traditions with your child or children. These traditions can be found in daily life or related to special times of the year.

Co-Parenting Recommendations

To help your child or children adjust to a new family dynamic and to establish a co-parenting routine, check out these tips from Healthline:

• Let go of the past – try to put any contempt for the co-parent behind you. You can vent frustrations to friends or a counselor, but don’t put that frustration on your child.
• Communicate – Keep your correspondence brief and businesslike. Be aware of how your words can come off to the co-parent. Communicate with the co-parent directly, not through a step parent or other family member.
• Listen – Give your co-parent space to share their thoughts or concerns. Give each other turns to speak without interruption.
• Work together – If possible, establish common and agreed upon rules for your child or children that can be withheld regardless of which parent the child is staying with.
• Compromise – While disagreement is possible, try to find common ground that can lead to a solution that both parties can live with.